kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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