Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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