She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
