D3 body, D1 cock
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
