Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
