I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
