The best revenge is premature balding
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
