I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
