i will never coherently bang her
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
