6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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