His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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