he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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