I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
