Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
