Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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