dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
