i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
