i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
