don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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