...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
