its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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