I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
