found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
