Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
