somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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