So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
whose parrot is this?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize