Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
