We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
