i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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