I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
only you would photoshop your dick
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
