He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
