yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
