Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
