How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
