just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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