i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
