i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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