Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Randomize