watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
