WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
