There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
