is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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