Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
