he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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