How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
