If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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