you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize