DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
