It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
