I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
