I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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