You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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