If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
