I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
