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I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
