So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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