New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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