I'm going to jail i love you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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