I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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