ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
